Impressing others makes you lose. Become truly impressive.

A fews years ago I got a student at office. Let's call him Nick. From the very first moment he tried to impress me: asking 'smart' questions, raising 'odd' thoughts or concerns (hoping he is the first one). It didn't work out. Why?

The bad news is: There is no one magic thing you can do to impress people. It is even a mistake to try as Robert Green found:

But, how can we be impressed by some people from the very first moment?

I'm going to break down how I taught it to Nick and he made it to top consultancy companies and they were impressed by him.

He got a 70% invitation rate on job interviews and plenty of offers.

The Solution: Switch Off Your Ego and Start Getting Things Done

The answer lies in shifting your mindset. All those efforts to stand out, whether by asking ‘smart’ questions or doing things to prove your worth, are rooted in ego: “I want this… I want that… I… I…”.
Also Nick - frankly speaking he had a huge ego. Being an athletes he had this winning gene. I pointed to this and explained it to him. He smiled and agreed.

But what to do? The first mindset shift is: True impressiveness comes from focusing not on yourself but on others. Make it about them.

People are impressed when you get things done — when your actions speak louder than words.

Ego: Your Biggest Enemy and how to fight it

The Ego comes in many forms. It affects everyone—men and women, extroverts and introverts alike. Often, it’s the little things: avoiding questions because you don’t want to look “stupid,” hesitating to take on a task, or arguing to prove a point.

Here’s how to fight your ego and become impressive:

1. Show a Willingness to Learn

People are impressed by your openness to learning. Ask thoughtful questions, not to show off but to truly understand. Admit when you don’t know something, and take action to fill that gap. Nick for example was questioning the status quo or the approach of the project. Asking questions shows ownership and commitment to the topic.

2. Let Your Work Speak for Itself

Produce high-quality work consistently. When you deliver, you won’t need to broadcast your achievements - others will notice. Your competence and commitment will naturally earn respect. Trust me: It's not the person who talks most who's remembered. People who deliver are remembered. I let Nick write the mails to the managers. He got seen and perceived as a doer.

3. Accept Feedback with Grace

When you receive feedback, don’t jump into defensive mode. The pros listen, thank the giver, and use the input to improve. Gratitude — even for criticism — is impressive. Go even a step further and seek feedback actively. This shows maturity. After intensive meetings I made a debrief with Nick. On Top-Management level it is the same. We make a debriefing call to settle the impressions. It's normal - do it.

4. Avoid Arguments

Don’t waste energy trying to prove your point in every situation. Being argumentative often stems from insecurity. Instead, focus on understanding the other person’s perspective and finding solutions. Start like "If I got you right...", "Your point is that...", "Would you agree..." These questions show seniority and you lead the discussion. You are in control.

5. Take on Small Tasks

Everybody wants the bigs tasks. But the magic happens in the nitty-gritty details. Unthankful but powerful. Don’t shy away from rolling up your sleeves and getting your hands dirty. Such tasks are: Setting up calls, writing the minutes, sending a debrief, preparing a slide or excel. You will become the leader in all these topics. Become the LEADER - let that sink it. Leadership is a choice, not a title.

6. Know Your Limits

It’s okay to admit when you’re out of your depth. Ask for advice and support. Contrary to what your ego might tell you, this is a bold and mature move. It signals self-awareness and a commitment to growth. Trust me from experience: Asking the first time for help is that hardest. Then you see that it is only a big deal for you.

The ego is under control. Unfortunately, this is a life-long battle.

Work Habits Make You Stand Out Without a Stage

Once you’ve tackled your ego, the next step is to prove your worth through actions. There are four concrete ways to do it:

1. Do Good Work: High-quality work speaks loud and let your result shine.
2. Show Work Habits: Be Punctual, Stay Organised, Be consistent.
3. Take Ownership: Own you tasks and mistakes. Go for it.
4. Be Active: Say "Yes" to almost everything.

You may think: "Heck this is much and not easy." Yes, this is true and the bad news: Success is hard work and so is being impressive.

The good news Nick took the challenge. Within his apprenticeship he held presentations in front of top management and got key projects. Later he decided to move on into strategy consultancy. This is the tip of the iceberg.

When you follow these tactics you are in power and you have a choice.

Ego Switched Off, Hard Work started, Success activated.

The Bottom Line: Get Sh*t Done

At the end of the day, people are impressed by results. Show them that you’re someone who delivers, no matter the circumstances. When you focus on getting things done—with humility, diligence, and a genuine concern for others— you naturally become someone worth noticing.

It’s not about doing one big thing. It’s about consistently showing up, putting in the work, and letting your actions speak for themselves.

Remember: impressing others makes you lose. Becoming truly impressive? That’s how you win. Stop trying to impress. Start being impressive.

Sources:
[1] Mastery, Robert Greene
[2] How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie