Manners — The Basic Step to Respect and Being Remembered

We all talk about confidence, storytelling, or executive presence.
But the real foundation of all three is simple: manners.

Manners are not old-fashioned. They’re the foundation in any time because they build instant respect in any room - virtual or real. People will remember you.

One of my kids wanted to invite a friend to come over to play. As they are in the second grade, the mother brought the kid. Let's call the mother Anna.

The doorbell rang. We opened the door and Anna was standing with the kid. She was well-dressed, and with a smile she empathetically said "Hello, I hope we are not disturbing you."

They entered the house, the kids started playing, and we invited Anna for a coffee. She accepted, and we went to the kitchen. Automatically, we gathered around the table, and as I was on the jump, I exchanged a few sentences.

My wife finished small things in the kitchen, but the astonishing thing was: Anna didn't took a seat. My wife said, "Please, take a seat," and Anna replied, "Yes, of course. Thank you."

It is an old rule that you don't take a seat unless it is offered to you. Today, we all feel so comfortable that we know or assume:
Yes, of course our kids play together (some trust and bond exist); of course, I will be offered the seat (no big deal); of course, I can sit down already (we know it will happen anyways).

This logical chain is true, but it was true at any time. But it is about something different:

Now comes the fun fact: Anna is a CFO. Everything she does builds instant rapport, trust, and respect. No wonder she has a career.

Let's take a look at the manners either to learn, remind, or reassure ourselves.

Everyday Politeness: The Invisible Reputation Builder

Good manners start with how we talk. Be explicit, understandable, and in the very moment. This means listen to people, look them in the eyes, and don't mumble.

“Good manners open doors to the room called respect.”

Here are a few examples that will be remembered:

• Say “Yes, thank you” and “No, thank you” — not just “yeah” or “nah.”
  Imagine King Charles. Would he ever say just "Yes" or "No"? This will not happen. Manners forbid this.
• Start with a greeting: “Good morning,” “Hi, I’m…” When you enter a room, don't forget to greet people, even if people don't hear it. Make it a habit.
• End conversations warmly: “It was great talking to you.” When you are in a meeting room, party, or event, never leave the location without thanking the host. Everybody wants to hear that they were a great host and that you enjoyed it. Respect their effort.
• Let people have the last word — it shows you value their voice. I can't emphasize this point enough. There are so many people out there who want to have the last word. It seems like a game of power. Let them. Be polite.

People remember how you speak more than what you say.

Video Calls: Respect Attention, Not Just Attendance

It's 2025, we have had the Corona pandemic with everyone working in the home office, and still there people who don't switch on their cameras.

The camera isn’t for show — it’s for connection. And there are more manners:

• Camera on means that you show presence.
• Don't do multitasking, no typing in the background. Respect the moment.
• Back-to-back calls? If you’re late — acknowledge it once and move on.

Every call is a new call and a new moment. Don't relax. Show the same respect on every call

Emails: Write Like Someone Who Respects Time

What do I hate most about emails? When people don't use paragraphs. Plenty of text, sentence after sentence, and the topics are mixed.

This drives me crazy because there is no structure. The author expects that I sort the topics for them. For me, clear that it is disrespectful.

Don't be like this:

• Use spell check — details are credibility.
• Keep paragraphs to blocks of two lines for readability.
• Add spacing, clear subject lines, and structure (intro, action, next step).
• Avoid “Hi all” without personalization when it matters.

Read your email once as the writer, and once as the receiver.

Time: The Silent Signal of Respect

A philosopher was once asked what it means when people are running late. He answered:

Being on time is the simplest way to show reliability.

• Be early — it communicates preparation.
• Start and end meetings as promised.
• Avoid “Sorry I’m late” culture — it adds up to a reputation.

Keep in mind: Time is the only thing we can't accumulate. Once it is gone, you never get it back.

Body Language - Handshake: The Old School Skill That Still Works

Sean Connery was chosen for his role as James Bond because of his body language, posture, and presence. He had it because he was doing bodybuilding.

We say a lot when we are silent. This is not only true for real meetings also for virtual ones. Here are some pointers:

• Posture while standing: Don't put your hands in your pockets. Be ready to shake hands.
• Handshake: Firm but not crushing. Look people in the eye. Smile slightly — it conveys trust and energy. Never shake hands distracted or while holding your phone.
• Posture while sitting: sit up straight, also in virtual meetings. Keep eye contact in real meetings and choose a good camera position for virtual meetings.

In hybrid work, your “digital handshake” = your first message tone and your follow-up speed.

Clothing: Respect Through Appearance

"Mama always said: There is an awful lot you could tell about a person by their shoes. Where they're going, where they've been." - Forrest Gump.

I go even further: Your clothes tell a lot about you. Send the right message. Dress for the level you want to be part of.

• Dress one level above your current position.
• Avoid worn shoes, frayed shirts, or dull colors.
• Simplicity always beats flashiness.
• It’s not about brand — it’s about effort.

People get impressed by how we look. It's a fact. Don't mess it up.

🔚 Summary

Manners are the foundation of presence. They don’t shout — they whisper respect, reliability, and awareness.

People remember how you made them feel — not what you said.

And in a world obsessed with performance, good manners quietly separate the memorable from the replaceable.