300k Lost in 10 Years - The Hidden Cost of not making a career

I told him that I got the job. He went silent and stared into the room. His disappointment was obvious and he knew that he wasn't happy for me.

Because he knew I would earn 15k more than he did. This hit him.

Let me explain.

A few years back, I was very disappointed with my career, opportunities, and my salary. I was stuck - a classic.

My colleague, let's call him Michael, was 10 years older and a senior professional. I shared the office with him.

Michael respected me, but he didn't like my extroverted approach on things.

• He was calm. I was energetic.
• He loved details. I focused on the big picture.
• He thinks coding is the truth. I do believe we can't do everything on our own.
• He earned 70k. I had less.

He couldn't understand my self-confidence because he thought I was a greenhorn. For me, he lacked confidence and sold himself below value.

We differed. There was a gap.

I wanted to move on, applied for jobs, had interviews, and negotiated 'high' salaries.

In one interview, I was the top candidate and asked for 85K*. They wanted to call me back. (*Then this was a lot of money.)

Back to the moment I shared that I got the job.

He knew about this opportunity and the salary, but he doubted that I would get the job. For him, it was again an overconfident moment from me.

The Moment I got the 85k job.

I got the call. I got the job. His world stopped rotating for a moment. HOW!?!? How on earth is this possible? were his thoughts. I read it in his eyes.

Seconds of silence. His lost look. Frustration, resignation, and the feeling of unfairness. His eyes talked louder than any words.

Then slowly his look gained focus and he said:

"Well, I have to be honest: You tried your luck. You risked something. And you won," he said, trying to sort himself.

"I'm sitting here on my chair every day, not risking anything, not trying out anything, and I expect that things change. This won't happen. You went all in. Well, that's fair and OK. Congrats," he said, finding his peace.

He is still in his position today. I moved on several times, but we are still in contact. He made his peace and he realised that we are built differently. His respect grew.

The hidden costs of not making a career

But let's come back to the hidden costs of not moving on. The cost of not betting and believing in yourself, not making a career?

Let's say somebody earns 70k and stays in his position. Another person who moves on will get a six figures for sure, e.g., 100k, (plus some benefits the higher you get, like company cars, etc.) In the long run, the differences are huge.

70k vs. 100k over 10 years is 300.000!

And trust me, this is a conservative calculation. More is possible, but the question is how high you want to go - salary-wise and position-wise, cf. my newsletter on How a Career Can Doom Your Life.

But it’s not just about money. Why didn't Michael choose this path, but I did?

It’s about who you want to become along the way. The gap didn’t start with talent. It started with identity.

I saw myself in another position, more strategic with more impact. Michael thought he had reached the top.

It's all about deeper questions:

Decide who you want to become — and act like it today.

"Your habits shape your identity, and your identity shapes your habits."
James Clear

"Decide the type of person you want to be."

Most people don’t fail because they’re bad. They fail because they never choose who they want to become. Meanwhile, time is passing. And the gap is growing.

When you want to become a leader then you need to build habits like a leader. It's the same with any job position: Scrum Master, Chapter, or Squad Lead or thought leader in an area.

"Ask yourself,
Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want?
Who is the type of person that could lose forty pounds?
Who is the type of person that could learn a new lan-guage?
Who is the type of person that could run a successful start-up?
For example, Who is the type of person who could write a book?"
From Atomic Habits, James Clear.

Every career position has an identity.

Examples:

• Want to be seen as strategic? Write a 1-pager before every big meeting.
• Want to lead? Start owning project outcomes, not just tasks.
• Want more visibility? Schedule 2 coffee chats this month.

These small steps become a habit, and they prove your future position. These are small wins. The longer you do it, the more you build your future self.

For me, it was going beyond the daily grind. I wanted to be in strategic projects and solve complex problems. What I did was I was analysing things, basically everything. What is the root cause of...? I became one of the best in this.

Career Growth Is a Compound Identity Game

Building your future self is like going to the gym. When you want to call yourself a sporty person, it doesn't happen when you go once to the gym.

Going regularly to the gym will make you fit. The habit 'going-to-the-gym' will make you a sporty person. You build a system to become a sports person. It's the same with a career.

Raises, promotions, and influence don’t always go to the best. They go to those who show up like the next version of themselves — consistently (=who made it a habit).

The identity provides clarity for your next step. The best thing is that with the habits you have already built a system of yourself on how to perform for the new identity.

Identity Builds Trajectory. This is the difference between Michael and me. I saw myself on another position and I built habits that formed a new identity.

This identity was the type of person who was searched for the open position. Michael wouldn't have got the position. His identity didn't match.

By the way, that is most often the reason why we get rejected on job interviews. People search for a specific type of person. We could also call this identity.

Career isn't just what you do. It's who you decide to become.

And we will change our identities over time because we grow as a person. This can be called climbing the ladder, but we are just releasing a new version of ourselves.

This compounds over time, yes leading to more money. Can you afford not to grow? Do you know what habits need to be built for your next move?

🔚 Summary

Not making a career can cost you a lot of money. The simplest way is to ask yourself who you want to become. Then show up like it — every day. Make it a habit because habits form our identity. This is who we are and who we can become. Nobody was born a Team Lead, CEO, or Expert. That’s how average people build exceptional careers. They build identities through habits. A two-way street.